My heart is pounding strangely. As I inhale, the rythmic pound will pause for awhile and after a few secs The heart will pound harder. Faster than usual and the feeling is nothing great. I feel like grey clouds on top of my head covered everythings up. hardly for me to think straight. I'm sorry for the whine. But I'm in the need of being honest. I can talk to someone...if I wanted to..but when it comes to words, I'm not good at expressing them in order to depict my feelings. Cuz when I write, I feel calm. More calm. I speak too fast, I speak and I don't think. feel stupified. Tonight, I can feel the wind blows gracefully through my face, the mixture of the tears and the wind generate quite a few feelings.I feel relieved but lonely. I am scared but I am strong. It's courage that I'm longing for.