Mom, as the days in 2012 passed me by, the harder it gets for me to digest this whole game.
I am so tired of fighting alone, sounds like giving up.. maybe/yeah/nope I don't even know anymore.
I am getting older and all I ever wanted at this moment is to live normally & be able to inhale/exhale with no hiccups.
Somehow, I just can't. Handicapped by obstacles. My emotion is hectic inside. I want to find serenity. My serenity is my mom. As she waited for me there, I am struggling alone. Try to gather strength as possible as I could to continue breathing.
I am no longer sure of my existence in the world. Like I used to aim to make my mom proud of me..That's why I didn't register myself as a college drop-out. To find a fine job at established company, to lessen her burden by taking care of her with the salary I earn. To get my master in Econs before I reach 26 and get my PHD done by 35 and be a lecturer. But all those aims are nothing but only a dirty dust. Nothing phenomenal.
To be honest, I am not sure.. anymore